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"Abbott and
Costello Talk Computers"
Remember the old "Who's on first"? Well, here's Bud and Lou
in the 21st Century
Abbott: Super Duper
computer store. Can I help you?
Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: No, the name's Lou
Abbott: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.
Abbott: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
Abbott: Wallpaper.
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Abbott: Software for Windows?
Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Abbott: Recommend something.
Costello: You recommended something?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: For my office?
Abbott: Yes
Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office!
Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.
Costello: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets
just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.
What do I need?
Abbott: Word.
Costello: what word?
Abbott: Word in Office.
Costello: the only word in office is office.
Abbott: the Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: which word in office for windows?
Abbott: the Word you get when you click the blue W
Costello: I'm going to click your blue if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Abbott: yes, you want Real One.
Costello: maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. what I watch is none
of your business. just tell me what I need!
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: if its a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 &4.
Can I watch them?
Abbott: of course.
Costello: great, with what?
Abbott: Real One.
Costello; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What
do I do?
Abbott: you click the blue 1
Costello: I click the blue one what?
Abbott: the blue 1.
Costello: is that different from the blue w?
Abbott: the blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.
Costello: what word?
Abbott: the Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: but there's three words in office for windows!
Abbott: no, just one. but its the most popular word in the world.
Costello: it is?
Abbott: yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left.
It pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.
Costello: and that word is real one?
Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even
part of Office.
Costello: stop! Don't start that again. what about financial book
keeping you have anything I can track my money with?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: that's right. What do you have?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbott: it comes bundled with your computer.
Costello: what's bundled to my computer?
Abbott: Money
Costello: money comes with my computer?
Abbott: yes. no extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Abbott: one copy
Costello: isn't it illegal to copy money?
Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Costello: they can give you a license to copy money?
Abbott: why not, they own it.
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