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"Abbott and Costello Talk Computers"

Remember the old "Who's on first"? Well, here's Bud and Lou in the 21st Century

 

Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

Abbott: Mac?

Costello: No, the name's Lou

Abbott: Your computer?

Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

Abbott: Mac?

Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.

Abbott: What about Windows?

Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?

Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

Abbott: Wallpaper.

Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

Abbott: Software for Windows?

Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

Abbott: Office.

Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

Abbott: I just did.

Costello: You just did what?

Abbott: Recommend something.

Costello: You recommended something?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: For my office?

Abbott: Yes

Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

Abbott: Office.

Costello: Yes, for my office!

Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.

Costello: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

Abbott: Word.

Costello: what word?

Abbott: Word in Office.

Costello: the only word in office is office.

Abbott: the Word in Office for Windows.

Costello: which word in office for windows?

Abbott: the Word you get when you click the blue W

Costello: I'm going to click your blue if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

Abbott: yes, you want Real One.

Costello: maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. what I watch is none of your business. just tell me what I need!

Abbott: Real One.

Costello: if its a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 &4. Can I watch them?

Abbott: of course.

Costello: great, with what?

Abbott: Real One.

Costello; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

Abbott: you click the blue 1

Costello: I click the blue one what?

Abbott: the blue 1.

Costello: is that different from the blue w?

Abbott: the blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.

Costello: what word?

Abbott: the Word in Office for Windows.

Costello: but there's three words in office for windows!

Abbott: no, just one. but its the most popular word in the world.

Costello: it is?

Abbott: yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.

Costello: and that word is real one?

Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

Costello: stop! Don't start that again. what about financial book keeping you have anything I can track my money with?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: that's right. What do you have?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: I need money to track my money?

Abbott: it comes bundled with your computer.

Costello: what's bundled to my computer?

Abbott: Money

Costello: money comes with my computer?

Abbott: yes. no extra charge.

Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

Abbott: one copy

Costello: isn't it illegal to copy money?

Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

Costello: they can give you a license to copy money?

Abbott: why not, they own it.